


Rings & Rage

by Cosmic_Files



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Calhola, Cute, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Love, Multi, NSFW, Original Character(s), proposal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:35:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27420556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmic_Files/pseuds/Cosmic_Files
Summary: Fin finally asks the big question.
Relationships: Olivia Benson & Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Olivia Benson/Rita Calhoun, Rita Calhoun/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola
Comments: 14
Kudos: 4





	1. The Proposal

Rita woke up slowly, stretching, smiling to herself as she listened to Fin’s deep, even breathing. She turned to face him, wondering how all of this happened. She had never told him, but she loved how peaceful he looked in his sleep. She was also jealous of the way that he could be so deeply asleep. 

She kissed his shoulder before slipping out of bed. She grabbed his shirt from the floor before, heading to the bathroom. She went through her morning routine, massaging her lotion into her skin before brushing her teeth. Followed by flossing. She opted out of makeup, considering it was a rare Sunday they would get to share together. She stared at herself in the mirror, smiling because she felt slightly tired. It was for a good reason.

Rita tiptoed back into the bedroom, making sure not to wake Fin as she slid back into bed. She smiled as Fin grabbed her around the waist, pulling her close. He kissed where her shoulder and neck met.

“Good morning sergeant,” She murmured before turning to face him, “I didn’t wake you. Did I?”

“No,” He answered in a raspy voice, eyes still closed.

Rita felt goosebumps raise on her arms as she turned to face him. She loved how sexy his voice was first thing in the morning, “Good,” She murmured as she buried her face in his shoulder.

Fin gently nibbled her earlobe, smiling at her soft sigh before kissing along her jawline, before Rita put a finger to his lips, “I am not kissing your morning breath.” She murmured. Rita kissed his forehead, before slipping out of bed, “I am going to make us coffee.”

Rita chuckled at his groan before walking into her closet and pulled on a pair of her favorite pajama shorts. She tied the strings into a bow before finally heading to make coffee. The need for it was real.

Being domestic was not something that she ever saw herself as. She had numerous relationships. None of which she could ever picture herself in this sort of situation. She took a deep, breath as the smell of coffee started to fill her kitchen.

Rita pulled open the fridge door, cursing herself for not grocery shopping. She looked at the various half full to go boxes. She scanned the fridge again, hoping that something would miraculously pop up. She sighed in defeat before grabbing the carton of milk, grateful to find that it was still good with a sniff.

“I really need to start scheduling a time to grocery shop,” She mumbled under her breath.

She pulled down two bowls and mugs, setting them at the island before turning to grab down some cereal options as she heard Fin coming, “Hey babe, I got some cereal. I know it’s not ideal, but the other option we have old to food. We can go grocery shopping later. How does that sound? We can stop at Forlini’s for lunch.”

“Sounds good to me baby. Rita?”

“Cheerios or chex?” Rita turned, dropping both boxes as cereal as shock filled her body, “What are doing?!”

Rita saw the ring and felt as though this was a dream. She looked at Fin, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. Rita bit her lip. For the first time Rita could remember, she couldn’t find the right words.

Fin smiled, as the ring caught the light. Sure, he wasn’t on his knee, but the velvet box felt heavier than a barbell, “I think you know what I am doing baby,” he said softly.

Rita looked away from the box, at him, “Odafin,” She breathed.

“The last thing I ever thought I would want in my life is to get married, and then one day I-I noticed you. When I realized that I love you, I knew I wanted to marry you. Rita Calhoun, marry me?”

Rita felt her tears prick her eyes as he spoke, “Odafin...I-I...”

“I know you weren’t expecting this baby. But what-“

Fin’s sentence was cut short as Rita kissed him, “Yes!” She murmured against his lips, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” She pulled back to looked at him, “yes.”

Fin smiled as he slid the ring on her finger, “Looks like we have a mess to clean up counselor.” He smirked.

Rita pressed her hips to his as she leaned back to look at him, “Fin, I love you,” she murmured. In a span of ten minutes, he had turned a normal day into an extraordinary day, “When did you...?”

He smiled, “I got the idea in my head. I know this means we are going to have a wedding, but I think it will be fun.”

“Odafin, I don’t want to think about that right now. I am hungry and our food is on the floor,” She grinned as she tilted her head, “Plus, we should go have a celebratory brunch.”

Fin dipped his head, nibbling her earlobe, “what if we celebrated now?” He murmured.

“Mmm...that is very tempting,” She sighed, leaning into him, “But I am starving. What about as...dessert?” She smiled up at Fin, she glanced at her hand with the ring on it.

“That sounds promising,” He murmured.


	2. Points & Deals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that this chapter is long! I know it isn't what you were expecting but this story ended up taking a life of its own. I originally planned to only make this three chapters long, but it looks like that is not how this is going to be. Any and all feedback is appreciated! Thank you for reading my work! Sending much love and happiness your way!

Rita couldn’t stop looking at her hand. Never in her life did she think that she was going to be able to say that she was going to be the one walking down the aisle. Then again, did she really want to walk down the aisle? Maybe they could elope? She gently shook her head. The last thing that she needed was to get distracted at work now. Rita glanced up when she heard a knock on the door, “Corrine,” She smiled, standing. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had seen her sister. Honestly, this was a nice distraction. 

“Rita, did I read that text message right?” She quipped as she walked in, closing the door behind her. 

“Yes, you did,” Rita smiled, hugging her tightly, “Your big sister finally got engaged.” She laughed. 

“Do you have time to take an early lunch?” Corrine asked as she grabbed her hand to look at the ring, “He picked this out himself? He didn’t do bad at all.” She teased with a smile. 

Rita glanced at the clock on her wall. It was a little after one, “If you can wait about a half hour, I can do an actual meal with you. I am ahead for once. Does Leo have the kids?” She quipped, waving at the seat before sitting back behind her desk. She grabbed her pen, marking in more information as her sister sat across from her. 

“Yes. Since Leo took vacation, I have gotten a little bit of a vacation as well. It’s nice! Before you announce your engagement, you’re going to have to get a manicure. Want me to schedule an appointment for us? It would be nice to eat and get manicures!” She grinned. 

Rita bit her lip, “I am going to take some time before I announce the engagement. Right now, only close friends and co workers know.” She admitted. She inhaled deeply as she started to clean and organize her desk. Ever since she had become a partner for the firm, she was excited that she would be able to take half days when she chose. It wasn’t often that she did. Her male counterparts took them more often than herself. Some to cheat on their wives, some to spend extra time with their wives. 

“Rita,” Corrine scowled, “We are an old name and a well known family. You aren’t going to be able to keep this a secret forever.” 

Rita sighed deeply as a response, “You don’t think I know this? It was hard enough having to disclose to both our jobs without having a fear that someone was going to run back and tell Father.” 

“I wish you two would just make up already.” Corrine huffed as she googled the nearest nail salon. 

“He isn’t going to take this well regardless.” Rita stated flatly. 

“I know, but I am excited so that way he will at least get off of your back.” Corrine shot back. 

“Then just make sure that you’re there when I break the news so there is a witness for my death.” Rita said as she scanned over her emails to make sure that there wasn’t anything urgent that required her attention. 

Corrine sighed heavily, “Look, I think that you and dad just need to bite the bullet and move on. Especially when it comes to Odafin. Both of you are extremely stubborn that it helps no one.”

Rita stopped her words before they could come out. There was a lot that she protected Corrine from. None of that is anything that she will ever regret. Corrine was able to live a normal, healthy life and was able to enjoy herself and her family. Something that Rita had always silently been jealous of, “Look. I love you, but there are some things that Father and I will never be able to get over.” She grabbed her purse, double checking to make sure that her keys were in there as she grabbed her phone off her desk. 

“Funny. Dad says the same thing but neither one of you bother to clarify exactly that that is. Will you ever tell me?” She questioned as they walked out. 

Rita held her finger up, “Benjamin, I am taking a half day. Unless it’s urgent, please don’t bother me. I don’t have any meetings with anyone and I will be spending the day with my family. Be sure to leave on time. Actually? Go ahead and leave at five instead of seven. Don’t worry, I will be sure to make sure you get paid till seven.” She smiled. 

“Thank you Rita! I will see you tomorrow!” He smiled as he returned to his phone. 

“He is such a pleasant assistant,” Corrine smiled as she walked out with her. 

“To answer your question, no.” She stated plainly. 

“Okay. Well then have fun explaining the ring to Dad tomorrow.” 

“What’s tomorrow?!” Rita questioned as fear struck through her. She hadn’t seen her father since the last family dinner that was two months ago. 

Corrine frowned, “Tomorrow is Mom’s birthday dinner. You didn’t forget did you?” 

Rita felt as though the air was constricted in her lungs as she punched the down button for the elevator in a quick succession, “No.” She lied. 

“Ya know, for a lawyer, you suck at lying to me.” Corrine rolled her eyes. 

“I just won’t wear the ring tomorrow.” 

“That isn’t fair to Odafin. Just tell them and get it done with.” 

“They were happy that you were getting married to Leo because he is a good man. Do you really think they aren’t going to lose their minds when they find out that Odafin is black?” Rita crossed her arms over her chest. Honestly, she wanted nothing more than to curl into Fin and just hide in his arms. 

“Rita! They haven’t met him yet?! What the hell is your problem?! Is Odafin suddenly a bad person?” Corrine scolded. 

She inhaled deeply, trying to find the right words before she turned to her sister, “Corey. You married a white man that is old blood and doesn’t go to any borough with people that make less than $500,000 a month. You married a man who supports you and takes you to places that people, like Odafin, could never imagine going to. Do you understand that? You married a man who ticks every single one of their boxes. I will be marrying a smart, strong black man who is also a cop for the NYPD. A man who has only ever stepped out of the country when he went to Mexico once on vacation. A man who grew up having to fight for everything that he had and also saw his Mom die at too young of an age. He isn’t Leo and he isn’t someone that they would ever pick for either of us. Regardless of all of that, I fell in love with him and I fell in love with him hard. Do you understand that? Excuse me for not being excited to introduce them. Not only that, but he isn’t particularly excited to meet Father.” 

  
Corrine walked out ahead of her, taking in everything that Rita just spilled to her before she turned to face her, “Listen. Just trust me on this? Bring Odafin tomorrow. Spice things up. I think that it would be good to not have to hide that secret. I heard everything you said, but just trust me. Okay? Then this way, you know nothing bad will happen because dad won’t do anything to ruin mom’s birthday.” 

Rita knew that she was right in this sense. Their Mom was the one woman that their father never disappointed, “I am not going to make any promises. I will call with enough time if Odafin agrees to come. Deal?” 

“Deal!” Corrine smiled as she linked arms with her sister. 

* * *

By this point in their relationship, Rita was used to Odafin’s late nights, however this time, she wished that he would just have a normal schedule. She poured herself another glass of wine before she walked to the living room. She tied her hair up before she made herself comfortable. She turned on the news for background noise as she sipped her wine. She briefly wondered why she just didn’t bring the whole damn bottle with her. She seriously hated how much of a soft spot she had for her sister sometimes. 

Rita stood when she heard the front door unlock. She adjusted the sleeves of her old Harvard sweatshirt, pulling the sleeves over her knuckles as she walked towards the front door. She watched as he pulled his shoes off before turning to face her, “Hey baby girl,” He smiled, pulling her close by the hips. 

Rita smiled as she ran her hands up and down his chest, smiling even bigger as he grabbed her hand, kissing the back of it before giving her a chaste kiss, “Mmm, hi,” She smiled as she pulled back, “Are you hungry?” 

“Starved, but not for food.” He smirked, "I like the color you picked," He briefly admired her grey manicured nails before looking back up at her. 

She laughed, lightly hitting his shoulder, “Go change. I can pop a pizza in the oven. I already have some wine opened. Do you want a glass?” She quipped. 

“Okay, I guess,” He grinned, “Pepperoni pizza would be great if we have that. I’ll make us some cocktails. How does that sound instead?” 

“Like perfection,” She grinned. 

Fin stole one more kiss before walking towards their bedroom. A few minutes later, the shower could be heard. Rita knew she wasn’t a chef, but she could definitely cook a premade pizza. She moved around her kitchen fluidly, humming as she debated how to tell him that their original plans to have a night in to start planning their wedding was now going to be spent with her family. She hoped that he wouldn’t be too upset. 

Rita jumped slightly as the oven beeped its signal that it was heated to the proper temperature. She wished that she could just not be nervous about tomorrow. Meeting Ken and Alejandro had been so much fun and easy. Almost as if they had known each other all along. She knew that wasn’t how her family was going to be. She bit back her sigh, as she already could hear Fin talking about how itchy his shirt was. 

Rita was so lost in thought that she didn’t even hear Fin come into the kitchen, “Hey, Rita? You okay babe?” 

Rita shook her head, looking up at him, “Hmm? Yes. I am just thinking. That’s all. Nothing too important.” She smiled, “Corrine said it was about damn time.” 

Fin laughed as he pulled down what he needed to make them some drinks, “Leave it to Corrine. When is she going to come over for dinner again? Ken and Alejandro loved her! They thought she was hilarious.” 

“Because she didn’t hold back on her thoughts?” 

“Exactly,” Fin smirked, “How does an old fashioned sound?” 

“Delicious,” She grinned. She watched as he made the drinks. She never would have thought of him to like such a drink, but then again he always surprised her. There was definitely never a dull moment with him. She liked that more than anything. She happily accepted her drink, taking a sip as she glanced at the timer. There was only five minutes left. 

She pulled out a cutting board, plates, and the pizza slicer before she had to pull out the pizza, “How was work today? Was it really stressful?” 

“Yes,” He sighed, “But tomorrow I am off and you already scheduled a half day. I am excited to relax in the bathtub with you. I can’t wait to kiss every inch of your skin. We are going to have a great day tomorrow. It’s been too long since we have taken a relaxation day.” 

Rita had plated slices for them, biting her lip, “About that.” She glanced at him. 

“Rita! You promised no work.” 

“It’s actually not work for once,” She handed him a plate before walking out to the living room, making him have to follow. 

“Then what is it? Another work dinner?” 

“It’s a dinner,” She threw over her shoulder. 

“What kind?” 

Rita gently pushed him to sit down. She wasn’t sure how to answer that one. She wasn’t sure if it was going to be good or not. She placed a leg on either side of his, lowering herself down, “I love you and I know you are going to hate this,” She murmured. Rita kissed him tenderly, slowly. 

Fin knew he wanted to know more, but he also wanted more of this. He wrapped his arms around her, feeling her body arch into his. He ran his tongue along her lower lip, asking for more of her silently. He knew that they should stop and discuss what she meant by the dinner. He knew that he should ease her worry, but this was definitely winning out. 

Rita pulled away for air, feeling his excitement against her inner thigh as he pulled her hair out of her ponytail. He ran his lips along her jaw, smiling as he nipped the spot right behind her ear that always made her shiver. He smiled, adjusting their positions. He loved the way her body fit perfectly underneath his. 

Fin smiled down at her, loving the way her hair splayed out around her, “You are so beautiful,” He murmured with soft eyes. 

Rita felt the blush warm her cheeks as she smiled back at him. She pulled him back down, kissing him passionately. She groaned as she felt his hand tease the strip of skin along her hips. This was way better than what she had faced earlier. She groaned as she felt him pulled away, as he brushed his lips along her neck, “You make me feel like a teenager sometimes,” She groaned. 

“Glad to hear that,” He smirked before looking her in the eye, “By the way, what is it about this dinner that you want to discuss?” 

Rita sucked in air, knowing that there was no way out of this unless she seduced him, but even then, she knew that was a fifty percent chance that it would work in her favor, “Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday.” She said softly. 

“Okay,” Fin said gently before he moved back into a sitting position, pulling her legs into his lap, running his hands up and down her legs. 

"I forgot that I already agreed to go to dinner with them. I know this isn’t ideal, but how would you feel about coming? Corey pointed out that I should introduce you since we are engaged. Her argument was that this will get back to them and it’s just better to get ahead versus behind. Especially once the news spread, it will somehow get back to my father." She opted not to use her sister’s crass words of biting the bullet. 

Fin’s eyes softened as he listened to her, “Are you sure that you want to deal with your father?” 

“I have no choice.” She said honestly. 

“You do, but what else did Corrine say?” 

“She asked, yet again, if my Father and I will ever be okay to sit alone in a room without arguing for once in our life.” 

“I don’t understand why you just don’t tell her.” Fin pulled her closer, “What he did was wrong.” 

“I know...Stop looking at me like that. I am never going to tell her because she doesn’t need to worry about the past. I ensured that it wouldn’t happen to her. What happened is done and there is no need to tell anyone else.” Rita answered stubbornly. 

“I don’t understand how that didn’t wreck you. I have seen so many men and women turn to drugs, and various other vices. I-you are something else baby.” 

“Thanks, I get that often,” She smirked, “But anyways, do you want to come to dinner and we can just tell them and just get it over with?” 

“I am going to enjoy the fact that your father is going to lose his shit because I am black,” He smirked. 

Rita gasped audibly, “Oh my god! You’re black?! Well, I....just don’t know how I could ever do this!” She responded sarcastically. 

Fin laughed as he pulled her closer, “Counselor you are crazy!” 

“Only for your sergeant.”


	3. Falling Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say that this chapter was extremely hard to write and I didn't think it would take as long to crank this out, but alas, I was wrong. Writing about racism is something I have never done in a fictional world, but I figured now is the time. I am not sure if things are coming off as strongly as I want them to, but I hope that you enjoy!

Rita opted to get dressed without having Odafin’s watchful eyes on her. She fastened the back of her bandeau bra, glad that this bra was one of his favorites. She planned on losing herself in him after this doomed dinner. She massaged lotion into her skin before opting to pull on her favorite purple, Yves St. Laurent dress. She admired the way the asymmetrical dress hugged her perfectly and the way the square neckline allowed her necklace to be shown off. She nervously fidgeted with her ring as she stood in front of her shoes. She had so many options, but none of them felt right. All of them felt as though they were a little bit too much of everything. Finally, she opted for a pair of black peep toe heels and grabbed her black jacket in case the night got chilly. 

She smiled as she admired Odafin in his well tailored black pants, with a white button down shirt on. She glanced at the black tie around his neck, untied, as she stepped closer to him, “Would you like some help with your tie Sergeant?” 

Fin’s eyes swept up her body. He could feel his jaw beginning to slacken, “I would love your help.” He smiled. 

Rita set her jacket on the bed where her clutch already sat. The present for her mom was already wrapped and sitting on her kitchen counter with help from Benjamin, “You look like you see something that you like,” She murmured as her fingers moved nimbly; knotting his tie. 

Fin pulled her slightly closer, absentmindedly twisting one of her curls around his fingers, “Yes, the most beautiful woman in my life in a purple dress that I would rather see on the floor.” 

“Well, play your cards right and that might be the case tonight,” She grinned as she leaned forward, kissing him softly. She rubbed the light pink lipstick from his lips before stepping back to admire her handy work, “We should get going,” She glanced at the clock on her phone. 

Fin laced their fingers, kissing the back of her hand, “Everything is going to be okay. You look beautiful and I promise, even if things don’t go well, I will be here at the end of the night at your side supporting you no matter what.” 

Rita smiled, “I love you.” She murmured. 

“I love you too baby.” 

* * *

Rita silently prayed for a work emergency to come up so the both of them could leave. She knew that all eyes were on them as she walked towards the table that contained Corrine, and Leo as well as her Mom and Father. She could feel various eyes on her, but ignored them as she kept her shoulders square and walked towards the table with determination to make it through tonight. She just needed to make it through tonight. She felt Odafin’s hand tighten slightly on her hip as she led him to the table. 

Corrine stood first, “Fin! Rita!” She smiled, hugging Fin first. She hugged Rita even tighter, “Thank you for bringing him,” Corrine whispered in her ear. 

She gave a smile, “You’re welcome.” 

Rita looked at her mom, “Happy Birthday Mom,” She smiled, walking over to hug her tightly after setting the gift on the table. 

“Hi Rita, thank you,” She smiled after stepping back to let her go.

Rita’s mom, Jane, was the exact opposite of her father. Jane was an inch or two shorter than with warm hazel eyes and hair that was blonde. Jane wore a forest green wrap dress and a pair of flats. Rita squeezed her Mom’s hand before looking at her Father. 

Despite trying not to, Rita’s shoulders became tense as she took a deep breath, “Father,” She said curtly. 

Unlike Jane, Rita’s father stuck his hand out, accepting the curt handshake. He was considerably taller than his wife and Rita. He looked menacing in every way. Broad shoulders, with thin lips and eyes so dark, they were almost black. William stepped closer to Jane in a protective manner. Fin noticed the small step closer towards Rita’s mom and felt his jaw twitch slightly. The last thing he was going to do was fulfill this man’s prejudice. Fin wasn’t surprised about this. Simply because of everything that Rita had told him. 

“Rita,” He said, finally turning his look back to him, “Who is your...friend?” He didn’t even bother to hide his disgust. 

Rita opened her mouth to speak, however Fin beat her to the punch, “My name is Odafin Tutola. It’s nice to meet you sir.” He answered evenly as he held his hand out. He would let Rita decide whether or not she wanted to tell. 

Rita felt as though the entire room was tense as Odafin and her Father shook hands. She took a deep breath once their hands dropped back to their side. 

“Well, Odafin, you must be pretty important to Rita if she brought you tonight. Odafin, this is Leo and Corrine. Of course, this is William.” Jane smiled as she sat down, everyone else following suit. Rita glanced at Fin, grateful for the warmth his hand radiated on her knee. She felt a little bit more peaceful because of this. 

“Should we order a bottle of wine?” Corrine piped up as Leo laughed. 

“Sounds good to me,” Rita smiled at her sister. 

****

Rita looked at the empty dinner plates. She was surprised that the dinner wasn’t as tense as she thought it was going to be. Then again, everyone was full and laughing. She saw her sister signal the waiter and a few minutes later, she broke out in a smile as they brought out a cute, round cake that had little pieces of shaved chocolate, exclaiming happy birthday with a couple of sparklers coming out of the top. The flowers atop the cake made it look exquisite. This made her excited that her Mom had loved her gift. It was a beautiful imitation of her favorite painting Monet's Artist's Garden at Giverny. 

After a chorus of the birthday song filled with laughter, Corrine leaned into Rita, “Hey, you might want to clarify that Odafin is more than a friend if you ever want to get this over with. Now is the perfect time.” 

Rita glanced at her sister, knowing why she was able to be confident around her Father and only wishing that she could be the same way. She took a deep breath, nostrils flaring, she grabbed her clutch, sliding her ring on under the table. Her and Odafin had agreed that she would put it back on if she decided to tell, “Odafin is more than a friend,” She stated as they exchanged warm smiles at each other, “He is my fiance and I love him. We don’t have a date yet but we will be getting married.” Rita held up her hand, showing off the ring. 

“That is amazing Rita! We should get a bottle of champagne to celebrate!” Leo smiled as he looked around for a waiter to order one. 

Rita stared at her Father as he wiped the corner of his mouth with a napkin and set it over his half eaten plate before looking at her mom, who had simply set her fork down, “How did you two meet?” Jane asked with a tight smile. 

“I am a police sergeant, and well, Rita just swept me off my feet. She is the only defense attorney that I was ever grateful to meet.” Odafin smiled pridefully. 

Rita was grateful that he wasn’t picking up on the signals like she was. She knew that she should have just stayed quiet. She nervously chewed the inside of her cheek as she knew what was going to happen next. She tried to signal to Odafin that they should make an excuse to leave, but he wasn’t catching it.

“Rita, you are a defense lawyer, dating a cop? How does that even work? Maybe you should go before you upset your Mother further,” William stated plainly. 

“He is a sergeant.” Rita corrected suddenly feeling emboldened, “I know I shocked Mom, but are you struggling to wrap your head around the fact that I am not going to be marrying a man of your stature?” She watched the way her Father’s shoulders squared and she knew that this was not going to be pretty as she steeled herself. 

“First of all. You decide to bring this-this _man_ to a family dinner, to which it is pretty evident that Corrine and Leo have already been introduced to him. You decide to announce your engagement on your mother’s birthday, effectively taking the attention away from her. You have always been this way. I thought you would have grown up by now. No, you must always have the attention. You are selfish and disregard any one else that could possibly matter. You have never respected our wishes and now you have gone and gotten yourself engaged to a person that will suck up all of your money and use you because he is a black man and that is what they do.” He said in a deadly manner as he stared Rita right in the eye, “You are no better than trash in my eyes.” 

“Sir, you are-” 

Rita cut Odafin off as she stood, “I love you mom and I am sorry that I wrecked your birthday,” She said gently before turning to her father, “I announced my engagement to share my happiness with you. If you don’t find it troubling that I didn’t bother to put my ring on until I was ready to announce, then you don’t see the problem. My relationship with the man that I love does not revolve around money. I am beyond disgusted with the fact that you have an issue with him being black. Odafin takes care of me. He makes me laugh. He doesn’t find my work ethic, or the fact that I am always reaching for new goals to be intimidating. Instead he encourages me to keep pushing forward and fighting for what I want. He doesn’t expect me to be at home all day having child after child. That is never who I will be. Do you understand? I wasn’t always trash to you. Now was I?” 

Rita felt her heart pounding against her chest as an eerie quiet fell around the table. She knew that was the closest she had ever gotten to calling her father out for what he did. She saw Fin stand as well, “We are leaving,” She stated as threw down money for her and Fin’s meal. She knew how disrespectful her father found that.

She felt Fin’s hand on the small of her back as she walked out the restaurant. She knew that things were going to be different now. At this point, she didn’t really care. Racism didn’t have a place in her life. Rita walked outside, grateful the cold air was biting at her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around herself. She turned when she felt Odafin’s hand on her shoulder. 

“Baby,” He said softly. 

“I am so sorry,” She answered, putting on her jacket. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” He said as he signaled for a cab. 

“I shouldn’t have subjected you to that.” 

“That is not the worst that I have ever dealt with. Do you understand that?” He put his hands on her shoulders, “I love you and their opinions aren’t going to change that. Corey and Leo accept us and that is good enough.” 

“Rita!” She turned away from Odafin as she buttoned up her coat to find Corrine coming in their direction. 

“Corey don’t,” Rita shook her head, blinking back her tears as the cab pulled up to the curb. 

“I didn’t think that things were going to go down like that. I owe you an apology.” 

“It’s fine. I love you and I will call you later,” She promised before giving her a short hug and sliding into the cab, Odafin following suit a few moments later to give the address. 

Fin pulled her into his arms, feeling her bury her face into neck as they rode in silence to their place. She just wanted this night to not exist. She took a deep breath and sniffled softly, while breathing his scent in. She took a deep breath before pulling back slightly. She looked up at him. She pulled him closer, kissing him slowly, tenderly as she tried to convey the love that she held for him. Something that she could never find the right words for. 

Fin tightened his arms around her, kissing her back with all the love he held for her. He knew that tonight was going to be tough for her, but he had no idea it was going to be this tough.Fin also could have never, but should have, guessed that her Father was a racist. He threaded his fingers through her hair, pulling her closer, not caring about anything except to turn this night around. He already had a plan formulating in his head that would help the both of them feel better. 

Rita pulled away, slowly catching her breath as she felt the cab come to a stop, “We’re home,” She murmured before watching Odafin slide out, and helping her out. He paid for the cab before walking up the stairs with her in a comfortable silence. Fin walked ahead, after toeing his shoes off, to pour them some wine in the kitchen. 

Rita walked silently to her room to get undressed. She knew that tonight was going to need to be discussed, but she wasn’t ready for it. She swallowed the lump in throat as she unzipped her dress, hanging it up, before putting her shoes where they belonged before pulling on her cream colored silk robe. She padded into the kitchen, eyeing Fin’s back before clearing her throat, “Why don’t we get ready for bed?” 

“That sounds perfect. What about a bath and then...” The words died in his throat as he saw how Rita was dressed. He knew that he shouldn’t encourage this as he admired the way the robe loosely clung to her. 

“And then what sergeant?” She questioned as she smiled at him sweetly. 

“I..uhm...nightcap and bed,” He stammered before finding her eyes. 

“I think we should skip the rest and go to bed.” She grinned. 

Fin set the glasses of wine down, walking closer to her, “Rita, are you sure that you want to do this?” He murmured, touching his forehead to hers. 

Rita felt a strong urge to suddenly start crying as she looked at him, “Fin, I-I am so disappointed in my mother and father and...” Rita melted into tears as her body shook against his. She didn’t know why she had expected anything less than what happened from her father, “All your life, you have had to deal with racism and bias and now you are going to be marrying into it.” She whispered thickly. 

“Hey,” He tilted her chin upwards, “I am not marrying your family. I am marrying you. Do you understand that?” He gently wiped away at the tears that were starting to flow down her face, “You are not your father.” He stated firmly. 

Rita nodded, knowing that if she answered, she was going to only end up crying further. She already hated that she was talking when her plan was to be fucked. Instead, she rested her ear over his heart, enjoying the steady rhythm as guilt ate at her. Shouldn’t she be the one to be comforting him right now? Not the other way around. She pulled back, “I am going to go clean up. Meet me in bed with the wine?” 

“Sounds good to me baby,” He smiled, kissing her forehead. 

Rita walked away, wrapping her arms around herself as she headed to the bathroom to wash her smeared makeup off her face. She knew that she was going to have to send Fin’s suit to the dry cleaner and grateful that he didn’t say something. She stared at herself in the mirror, looking at her red rimmed eyes, before she started to wash off the smeared makeup and hoping to reduce the swelling in her face. 

She peeled the lingerie off her body, opting to pull on Fin’s NYPD sweatshirt and her favorite pair of cotton pajama pants. She tied her hair into a loose ponytail as she made her way towards their bedroom. She smiled to herself as she heard the familiar lines from Legally Blonde drifting out of the television speakers. Rita looked at Odafin, already comfortable in their bed, reading something on his phone. She paused, admiring the way he was so content.

“Are you going to join me and Elle Woods, or are you going to stand there staring at me all day?” Fin pulled his phone down, looking at her over his glasses. 

Rita laughed as she started to walk towards him, “It will never stop freaking me out that you can do that.” She answered before slipping under the covers, moving closer to his warmth. 

Fin clicked his phone off, setting it on his bedside table, before pressing a kiss into her hair, “I also want to add, that I wanted nothing more than to pull you out of that robe and ravage you, but that isn’t what you needed.” 

“It’s what I wanted and needed.” 

“I would rather hold you after you have dealt with something that is emotionally exhausting versus you getting physically exhausted and not dealing with the issue.” 

Rita was quiet for a moment, knowing that Fin was only stating the truth, and that was something that she couldn’t be angry with, “Thank you,” She murmured. 

Fin smiled, pulling her closer, as he tilted her chin up, “I love you,” He murmured, kissing her softly before she had a chance to respond.


	4. Lazy Touches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW. Read with caution. After the angst of the last chapter, I definitely felt like you guys needed some release. The song that heavily inspired this chapter was Easily by Bruno Major. Thank you, immensely, for reading my work! I don't know when I will post the next chapter, but I hope that you enjoy! Sending all my love and happiness your way!

Rita walked up the stairs to the courthouse, not worried about the time. She, of course, was early. This gave her deep comfort. Being ahead of schedule was something she always strode for. 

“Rita Calhoun,” she answered her phone, skillfully weaving in and out of the crowd of people. 

“It’s Benjamin. I know you are headed into court, but I wanted to let you know that Mr. Archer called. He is in need of your assistance and I am sending you all the details you need.” 

“Thank you Benjamin. You are seriously the best assistant I have ever had. Lunch is on me,” She smiled. 

“And you’re the best boss I have ever had. Always gotta make sure things are moving smoothly for you!” 

“Bye Benjamin,” She replied, hanging up. She hoisted her bag further up her shoulder as she looked around. She glanced at the sign to make sure she was in front of the right door before she sat down at the bench. She knew she had this case in the bag and didn’t feel nervous. 

* * *

Fin dropped down onto Olivia’s couch after shutting the door, “What’s up?” She questioned as she took off her glasses. 

“I wanted to ask if I can cut out early today.” 

Olivia cocked her eyebrow, “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I just want to do something special for Rita. We announced our engagement to her parents a couple nights ago, and her father,” He blew out a deep sigh, "He is a piece of work. He told me that the only reason that I was with her was for her money because I am a black man." 

Olivia felt her jaw drop before she could even stop it, "Tell me that you're kidding," She leaned back in her chair, staring at him, "This isn't the 1950's." 

"In the 1950's I would have been lynched. But that is beyond the point. I want to go and decorate our home and just have a nice night in with her. She deserves it after having to put up with her piece of shit father." He scowled slightly. 

Olivia smiled, leaning forward, “I never, in my life, thought that I would see you acting like a husband.” 

Fin smirked, “I never thought I would get married again.” 

“I never thought I would say that Rita is a good fit for you.” Liv shot back easily. 

“There is definitely more to her than meets the eye. I mean, I she has this particular humor that-“ His words fell short with a knock on the door as Carisi poked his head in. 

“Captain, Sergeant,” he nodded, “You have a visitor Tutuola.” 

“Who? I am not expecting anyone,” Tutola’s eyebrows furrowed as he stood. 

“Uhm his name is William Calhoun.” 

Fin’s shoulders tensed as he glanced at Olivia. 

“You got this?” Olivia questioned. 

“I’ll call ya if I need ya captain.” He promised before walking out. 

He stared at William Calhoun, sitting at his desk, as he walked towards him. He felt anger radiating inside of him deeply. He stood in front of him, staring down upon him,”What do you want?” 

William stood to even the field, “You’re going to break the engagement off with my daughter. You are going to leave her alone and I will pay you however much that costs. I will not have you riding through life on my daughter’s coat tails. More importantly, I will not allow you to take down the Calhoun family name with your disgusting attributes.” 

Fin snorted, stepping closer to him, “That is really rich coming from you. Actually, I am going to make _you_ an offer. You stay away from my future wife. You damaged her more than enough. You know what the _fuck_ I am talking about. Do you understand me?” Fin said in a deadly voice as he tucked his hands into his pockets. This way his soon to be father in-law wouldn't see how angry he was. He bit back a smirk as William took a step back.

“How do you know about that?” 

“You see, the thing about love is people talk to each other and they don’t judge. Now, you are going to take your ass out that door and you will not bother Rita unless she reaches out to you, you sick son of a bitch.” Fin stood taller, as he heard Olivia come behind him. 

“Anything I can help you with, Sergeant?” Olivia questioned. 

“No," Fin shook his head as he glanced back at Olivia, "Mr. Calhoun here was just leaving. Isn’t that right?” Fin questioned as he looked him right in the eye. 

“This isn’t over,” William stated plainly, looking between Olivia and Fin before walking through them. 

“What was that about?” Olivia questioned as she crossed her arms over her chest. She was concerned, but knew Fin would tell her if he needed help. 

“Let’s just say that with old blood, comes responsibilities that you and I have never had to worry about.” 

****** 

Rita walked up the stairs to the brownstone tiredly, pausing to dig her keys out of her purse. Fin had texted, saying it was going to be a late night for him, and she was looking forward to enjoying a lilac scented bath with candles. Rita walked in, pausing to take her shoes off, letting her heels dangle off her finger tips as she walked in. 

She paused, looking at the path to their bedroom, lit with candles. She couldn’t help but smile, “Odafin?” She called out. 

Fin greated her at the base of the stairs, holding two gin and tonics, “Hi baby,” He smiled as he held a drink out to her. 

Rita accepted, taking a sip before stepping closer, “I thought you had to work late?” 

“I only told you that so you wouldn’t expect all of this,” He smirked, wrapping his arm around her waist. 

Rita dropped her shoes wrapping her free arm around his neck, smiling, “Thank you for doing this,” She murmured, giving him a gentle kiss. 

Fin slowly pulled away, “Mmmm, babe come on. There’s more.” 

“Are you telling me, you went full nineties cliche and have a bed full of petals?” She smirked. 

“Why don’t you follow me, and find out?” 

Rita felt giddy as she followed him up the stairs. She sipped her drink, enjoying the way the room was dimly lit, “Fin!” She breathed. 

Fin stepped back, smiling at Rita as she walked further into their bedroom. He had used some of her Christmas decorations to his advantage. The room was sparsely lit with candles that were scented vanilla. Twinkling lights were strung up behind the headboard with chocolate covered strawberries on a bedside table. Rita set her drink atop the coaster on her bedside table before walking back to Fin, who had left his drink on the banister on their way up. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling him rest his hands on her hips, “Thank you for all of this,” She murmured. 

“Anything for you baby and you know it,” He smiled before kissing her. 

Rita kissing him back, slowly, with a gentle nibble on his lower lip. She knew that tonight was going to be good and this was her favorite part about not having kids.

Fin started walking her backwards towards the bed. Rita grabbed at his shirt as she felt him unbuttoning her blouse. Once she felt the back of her legs hit the mattress she sat down atop the bed, her fingers playing with a couple of the petals on the bed. 

She looked up at Fin gently, “I wish I would have met you sooner,” She murmured. 

Fin tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling as he bent closer to her, “We met at the right time,” he murmured, kissing along her jaw. 

Rita inhaled deeply as she realized how this was going to go. She felt him take off her necklace and watched as he set it hung it off their headboard. Rita relaxed with his touch as she let him pull her blouse out of her skirt. 

“What made you do this?” She smiled. 

“Well, every time we plan some time for ourselves, we always get caught up with other obligations,” Fin bit his lip as he looked at her deep green lacy bra, “I figured that if we didn’t plan some time for us, then we wouldn’t have anything get in the way.” 

Rita sighed as Fin dipped his head kissing slowly down her neck, pushing a bra strap down. Rita pulled his attention back, finding his lips with her own as she laid back, pulling him with her. Fin rested a forearm on either side of her head. She felt the way he slowly kissed his way down her body, kissing the parts of her breasts that were showing. She smiled to herself, arching her body to his as he found her lips again. 

She willingly opened her mouth as their tongues collided, Rita moaned loudly as she pressed up, causing them to crawl further onto the king sized mattress. 

Fin slowly pulled away, admiring the way that she looked, “You are so beautiful,” He murmured. 

Rita felt her cheeks glow as she smiled at him, “You are so handsome,” She murmured. She slipped her fingers underneath his shirt, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin. Rita enjoyed his dimpled smile as he half laid between her legs, pushing her other bra strap off her shoulder. She flipped their bodies, pulling off his shirt before kissing along his neck. 

Rita watched his face, as she pulled her bra off her body, tossing it to the floor. She enjoyed the way that his entire face softened as he ran his eyes over her body. Rita leaned back down, her hair creating a curtain, as she started to make out with him. She hadn’t told him in all the years that they had been dating, but some of her favorite nights were when they took it slow and re-explored each other's bodies. Maybe, tonight, she would tell him. 

Rita groaned as his hand snaked between their bodies, teasing her slowly through her panties. She felt a fire ignite deep in her belly as she pushed her hips down to get more pressure from his hand. She silently begged for more, but he wasn’t giving it to her. She groaned in frustration as he pulled her flush to his body, rolling their bodies before kissing back down her body. 

“Oh god! Touch me sergeant!” She whimpered as she felt him pull the zipper down on her skirt. 

“How?” He grinned up at her. 

Rita propped herself up on her elbows, sighing as he nipped at her hip. She pushed her hips up, grateful that he was finally sliding off her skirt. She bit her lip, dropping her head backwards as she felt his warm breath dancing on her skin as his nose ran along her panties. Rita bit her lip as Fin teased her. She groaned when he pressed a kiss onto the bow on her panties. She blossomed before him as she slid a leg atop his shoulder. 

She heard Fin moan her name before he finally pushed her panties aside, “Odafin!” She groaned as she felt him slide a finger inside, shortly followed by a second finger before his tongue found her sensitive nub. Rita bunched bedding into her fists as she felt her hips jerk. 

Fin smiled at the way her body awoke for him, holding her hips as he hooked his fingers in the way that he knew she liked. He wanted, more than anything, to make her feel good. Rita sighed as she struggled to contain herself. Had it really been that long since they had a chance to make love? 

Rita screamed his name out as she felt herself climax on his tongue. It had been that long. She couldn’t recall the last time that she had climaxed that fast. She lifted her hips, as he pulled off her panties. Rita pushed Fin against the headboard, making quick work of his pants and boxers. She took him into hand, smearing the precum as she ran her hand along his length. 

Rita leaned forward, kissing him slowly, as she continually ran her hand along his length. She placed her knees on either side of his hips as she held eye contact with him. Fin placed his hands on her hips, leaning forward to gently suck a nipple into his mouth. 

“Look at me,” Rita murmured, hovering above him despite how well his tongue worked on her body. 

Fin leaned back wordlessly, studying her face as she slowly slid onto him. He felt his head drop as he groaned loudly. He couldn’t believe how good this felt,” Oh yes,” He hissed. 

Rita smiled, still holding eye contact, as she slowly started to swirl her hips around him. She sighed, feeling vulnerable but incredibly sexy as she started to move up and down on him. Fin groaned, as they found their rhythm. Rita lost track of time as they moved. She sighed as she felt his hands touching all the right spots; his lips moving along her collarbone as Fin gently raked his teeth across her nipples. 

Fin cupped her bum, rolling their bodies as he held himself above her, “Let me take care of you,” He purred as his thumb found her clit. He started a slightly faster rhythm, moving in and out of her, sighing every time their hips met. Rita groaned as she arched her body to his. 

“Oh fuck! Harder!” Rita groaned as she neared her second climax of the night. 

Fin smiled to himself, following what she asked, tucking his face near her ear, “Oh yes baby girl.” He groaned huskily, “Just like that? You feel so good,” He groaned as he felt himself nearing his own climax. 

Rita dug her nails into his shoulder as she rolled her head back, “Odafin!” She shuddered as she climaxed. She could feel her body milking him. 

“Rita!” He grunted as he thrust his hips into her one last time. 

Rita groaned gently as she felt him softening inside of her. She ran her fingers down his sweat slicked skin, only groaning when he rolled away from him, feeling the chilly air hit her own sweat slickened skin. 

Rita thanked Fin as she accepted the tissue to clean herself up before she curled back into him. She rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the way his hand held her hip as his heartbeat started to slow back down, “I know I never said this before, but the nights that we spend reconnecting like this, feels really good. I love it because it makes me feel like I am learning about you all over again,” Rita looked up at Fin with a shy smile on her lips. He was one of the few men that she felt okay being vulnerable around. 

Fin dipped his head, kissing her sweetly, “I love spending time like this with you. I love exploring your body and hearing the pleasure that I give you. Thank you for sharing all of this with me.” 

Rita gently kissed his chest as she felt him pull the blankets around their bodies, “Are you hungry?” 

“Mmm, would you like a strawberry?” 

“Do we have something more substantial? I didn’t have time to eat a real dinner at work and you definitely used up whatever energy I had left,” Rita laughed, tucking her face into his neck. 

“I can order us something from Butter. They have the most delicious steak in my opinion.” 

“Order it for delivery please. I only want to leave bed to get the food.” 

“As long as we have the strawberries for dessert.” Fin grinned, running his fingers lazily up and down her spine. 

Rita drew abstract patterns on his skin, grateful that he made this time for them, “I didn’t realize how much we needed to do this.” 

“The both of us have had a tough week and this was definitely what we needed. I told Liv I proposed to you.” 

Rita looked up, feeling curiosity pique her interest, “What did she say?” 

“That she was happy for us and that you were one of the best things to have happened to me.” He pulled his eyes away from his phone to kiss her forehead, “She isn’t wrong.” 

“I want to do a small intimate ceremony.” Rita said gently. 

“That sounds perfect to me. Who were you thinking baby?” He adjusted to grab his glasses before snuggling back into her. 

“Definitely Corey, Leo, and Rafael. I already know that Liv is on the list as well.” 

“Ken, Alejandro, and Jaden as well.” Fin nodded, hitting send on the order before giving her his full attention. 

“How small do we want to keep this?” 

“No more than thirty, I would say. This would include us.” 

“Well we are already up to nine.” 

“Since Jaden is coming, so should Noah as well as Lizabeth and Daniel.” 

“That sounds perfect to me. How would you feel about the Hamptons? Summer time?” 

“Mm,” Fin nodded, “I think that is a perfect idea.” 

Rita felt butterflies in her stomach, her ring glittering in the dim light of the candles, “Sometimes I pinch myself to make sure this isn’t a dream,” She admitted. 

Fin smiled, intertwining their fingers, kissing the back of her hand, “Sometimes, when I first wake up, I have to remind myself that all of this is real,” He murmured. 

Rita, craned her neck, kissing him gently, “This, us, we are real. It just took us longer than most for us to find each other.” 

Fin chuckled gently, “I’ll say.” 


	5. Lies & Drinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this a lot sooner, but I have had a very long work week and I wanted to make sure this chapter was where I wanted it. I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading my work! Sending all the love, joy, and happiness your way!

Rita glanced around as she was typing out a text to Fin, letting him know she was running late to meet him and the squad for drinks. She sighed with the fact that she was late leaving, again, because her boneheaded client decided to get arrested with a domestic violence charge. She knew he was upset with the fact that he was going to have to sit in the holding cell until tomorrow, but there was nothing she could do to help him. 

“Pardon me,” Rita mumbled as she bumped into another body. 

“Eyes up lady!” He snapped before stalking off, shaking his head. 

Rita rolled her eyes as she hit send, tucking her phone into her pocket. She knew this was all a part of being in New York. She pulled her scarf tighter around herself before crossing the street. 

“Excuse me.” 

Rita turned, feeling a chill run down her spine with the familiar voice. The last time she had been alone with her father, things didn’t end well for her. Rita’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him, “What do you want?” 

“You told  _ him _ ?” William scowled. 

Rita inhaled deeply, “Yes, he is my fiance, and he has a right to know.” 

“We agreed upon never telling anyone.” 

“ _ I  _ agreed to that so you would never touch Corrine!” She snapped. 

“So, you’re telling me you didn’t want me to pay for the education that you got to be where you are now?” 

Rita scowled, “You don’t get to hold that over me!” 

William stepped closer, towering over his daughter, “I didn’t do anything wrong. You’re the one who overreacted.” 

“What would mom say if she knew?” 

“Like she would believe you after your display at dinner,” He snorted. 

Rita blinked back tears. She hated that this man could make her feel so small. She inhaled deeply, “I have only ever told two people in my life. One time, an accident, the other time on purpose. You took my innocence. You sexualized me when I was thirteen! You’re the one who took everything before I had the chance to say no!” She snapped. 

Rita felt encouraged to continue as she stared at her Father, watching the way he looked around nervously. Rita took a step away from him, wanting to vomit with the smell of his cologne. She never said those words aloud to him and she felt sick, but relieved. 

William squared his shoulders, stepping as close as possible to her without touching her, “Let’s take a look at the big picture. You never told anyone when you were young. You only threatened me to make sure that I didn’t touch Corrine. Which, I think you should know, I never wanted to in the first place. If you are so disgusted by this, then why do you stand there so tall, defending men who rape women?” 

Rita swallowed hard. She tried to think of a response, but nothing was coming. She swallowed thickly, finally making eye contact with him, “I also defend victims,” She stated weakly. 

“That doesn’t make you any better than the trash that is blowing around us. You are not to come around anymore. When it comes to family dinner, holidays, anything. You are disowned,” William stated before spitting in her face, “Piece of shit.” 

Rita flinched, seeing him step around her, before she heard a car door close. She swallowed as she heard someone calling her name. Everything sounded so far away. She turned away, heading towards the bar. Rita wiped the spit off her face, flicking her fingers. She felt as though her lungs were being squeezed tightly. Rita screamed when she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

“Whoa, whoa,” Liv said breathlessly, “Didn’t you- hey, what’s wrong?” 

Rita touched her cheek, realizing she was crying, “Nothing, I am fine,” She lied weakly. She watched as Olivia rifled through her purse before finally handing her a travel tissue pack. 

“Who was that man?” 

“How much did you see?” 

“I saw that you two were having a heated discussion. I saw him spit on you.” 

Rita knew she saw too much, “An old client.” She lied, noticing how much of her mascara was on the tissue.

“An old client made you cry?” Liv questioned slowly, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I don’t defend Saint Peter.” She stated. She rifled through her own purse, pulling out a mirror and was grateful that she didn’t look like shit completely. She sniffled, wiping off the rest of the wet mascara before handing the pack back to Liv, “Why are you running late?” 

“I was meeting Lucy to drop Noah off. I have a date after McOwen’s.” Liv said honestly. 

Rita swiped on the last coat of mascara, happy that she looked composed again. Perception could fool anyone, “With who?” 

“Was that your father?” Liv shot back. 

“How would you know who my father is?” Rita’s eyes narrowed. 

“Calhoun is an old name around here. I look out for my friends.” Liv shrugged. 

Rita stared at her for a moment before finally pulling the door open toMcOwens, “I am freezing and I am in the mood for a drink.” 

Rita turned away, not giving Liv the chance to question her some more. She knew that Liv wouldn’t drop something, even if the person said they didn’t want to talk about it. Rita knew Olivia was like a dog with a bone right now, and she wouldn’t give her more cause. She shrugged off her jacket, and set her purse down beside it, kissing Fin on the cheek, “Hey,” she smiled. 

Fin visibly straightened as he smiled at her, “Hey baby,” he leaned in, giving her a chaste kiss before signaling the bartender, “Usual?” 

“Double scotch on the rocks please,”Rita smiled at the bar tender. 

“Left Hand Shiraz for me,” Liv added before turning to Fin, watching the way that Rita seemed to press her entire body into him, “Wanna play a round of pool?” Liv quipped. 

“Sure, set the table and I will be over,” Fin promised. He turned to face Rita, “How was your day baby?” 

Rita ran her knuckles over his cheek, “Better now,” She promised. She intertwined their fingers, kissing the back of his hand, “Let’s not stay out too late though. I am a little tired.” 

Fin nodded, “Okay.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, noticing that she wasn’t wearing any eyeliner like she was this morning. 

“You playing or what?” Liv called, smiling. 

“Coming!” Fin answered, grabbing her drink as well as his beer. He was excited to play some pool. He couldn’t remember the last time he had. 

Rita watched him walk away, before settling in her seat. She sighed deeply, leaning onto the bar. She stared into her drink. She couldn’t stop thinking about everything that her father said. How had he found out she told Fin? 

*** 

Rita sat on the bed, massaging lotion onto her legs, looking up as she felt eyes on her, “Like what you see?” She grinned at Fin. 

“Love what I see,” He smirked as he stepped forward from the bathroom. He walked towards her, tilting her chin up, kissing her slowly. 

Rita pulled away, giving a tight smile,”I need to ask you something.” 

“What’s up?” 

“Have you seen my father without me?” 

Fin felt as though his stomach was going to fall out of his ass. He knew he shouldn’t lie. He gave a silent nod. 

Rita stood sharply looking him in the eye, “When?” She questioned coldly. 

“A couple days ago. I was talking to Liv in her office and then all of a sudden he was there. He tried to pay me off to break the engagement off with you.” 

“What else did you say?” 

Fin swallowed thickly, “That I knew what he did.” He had never felt so guilty in his life.

Rita stared at him for a long moment before silently stepping around him. She tied her hair into a messy bun as she grappled for something to say. 

“Rita talk to me please. What happened today? I know you were crying. You weren’t wearing your eyeliner.” 

“I have to prepare for a deposition tomorrow.” She slipped her feet into her slippers after pulling on pajama pants, “Don’t wait up,” She tossed over her shoulder. 

* * *

Fin stared at his computer, trying to catch up on his paperwork, but he couldn’t focus. Rita had been gone by the time he woke up this morning. He wanted to talk to Rita, but also knew when to not push her. 

“Thank you for calling DuMonde flowers. This is Katie speaking, how can I help you?” 

“Hey, do you deliver flowers?” 

“Yes! What can I get you set up with?” 

Fin dropped his phone down on the receiver, after thanking Katie for all her help as he looked up at Liv, “We got a new case?” 

“Can I talk to you for a moment? In my office.” 

“Sure thing,” He nodded. Fin followed her to his office, feeling as though he was in trouble. 

Liv waved to the chair in front of her desk before sitting herself, “I wanted to talk to yesterday, but I saw Mr. Calhoun talking to Rita when I was heading to the pub last night. Fin, I saw him spit on her. What is going on?” 

Fin felt anger flare in the pit of his stomach. That explained Rita’s behavior, “It’s not my story to tell,” He said simply. 

“Do I have to open an investigation?” 

“Do  _ not  _ do that.” 

“Look, you have told me not to worry about things before and I have backed off as asked, but this is something that I can’t do. What I saw was alarming and the fact that Rita was able to recover so fast, tells me that this isn’t the first time something like this, or worse, has happened between them.” 

“Let me handle this,” Fin said firmly. He watched as Liv battled with herself. 

“You have twenty four hours. After that, I am going to be paying a visit to Rita myself.” 

“Liv I am asking you, no telling you, that you need to stay out of this. Do you understand?” Fin stared at her hard. 

“Twenty four hours.” She stated again firmly. 

Fin’s jaw twitched. He opened and closed his mouth, unable to say anything. He was beyond pissed. He took a deep breath before standing and leaving silently. He knew that Liv was tying his hands behind his back. The question now, was how did he tell Rita? 


	6. Broken Testament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW 
> 
> -This chapter does talk about rape and so will the next chapter. If this will upset you, please do not read!

Fin sat at the kitchen table, twisting the whiskey glass between his pointer finger and thumb. He glanced up as the door opened. He silently watched as Rita hung her jacket, leaving her boots by the door along with her briefcase. 

“Rita?” 

Rita stopped, crossing her arms over her chest, “Odafin.” 

“Olivia is going to open an investigation on you and your father.” 

Rita tensed as she looked at him, “Excuse me?” 

“Rita, she knew about the dinner. She saw you talking to your father before drinks. Not only that, he spit on you?” Fin stood as he looked at her face, “I understand sometimes work shuts down what we can talk about, but Rita, baby, this is life. Our life.” 

Rita inhaled deeply, “This is none of Olivia’s business,” she answered tightly. 

“I know that. I tried to tell her to stay out and instead she gave me twenty four hours. Just enough time to notify you and to hopefully figure something out.” 

“Well you didn’t try hard enough!” She snapped. 

Fin’s brow furrowed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, “I tried. I did  _ everything  _ I could.” He shot back. 

“If you had kept your  _ fucking  _ mouth shut and never said anything at all, I-we wouldn’t be here right now!” She snapped. 

“If I had kept _ my  _ mouth shut!? What are you talking about!?” 

“FIN!” Rita screamed, “I am disowned now!” She snapped as tears sprung into her eyes, “I am no longer allowed to family holidays. I won’t be able to spend time with my niece and nephew when they are around my parents because you wouldn’t just shut the fuck up! My sister is going to find out now and this is going to wreck the entire family. Do  _ you  _ understand that?” 

“I didn’t do  _ anything  _ wrong. Do you understand that?” Fin answered calmly, “Plus why would you want to be around him? He-“ 

“Stop!” She snapped, “I put up with it because I love my niece and nephew as well as  _ my  _ sister!” Rita breathed out deeply as she looked at him, “I thought I could trust you.” She whispered as she looked at him. 

“Baby, you can trust me.” Fin responded firmly. 

Rita walked upstairs, heading up to the bedroom as Fin watched. He was unsure of what she was doing as she came back down. Rita had changed into jeans and a turtle neck before heading back towards the door, “Hey! Where are you going?!” 

“I am going to fix this before it gets any worse,” She stated. 

*** 

Rita knocked on the door harder, stepping back as she waited for an answer. She stared at her shoes. She wanted to throw up but she knew she had to stop this before it got worse. She knew her father didn’t hurt anyone else. She made sure of it. 

She looked up as the door opened, “Rita? It’s nearly ten o’ clock. What’s up?” Liv asked as she pulled her robe tighter around her. 

“Is Noah asleep?” 

“Yes.”

“I need to talk to you.” 

“Sure, come in.” Olivia stepped back allowing Rita in, “Why the late visit?” 

“You’re not going to open an investigation,” She slowly looked up at her, “You are going to get your nose out of my business. Do you understand? There is nothing that you need to worry about. Leave me alone. Leave my family alone. Okay?” 

Liv stared at her, “Rita, something happened to you. I know something did. You aren’t coming forth. After seeing the way you recovered from your father spitting on you? That is a red flag for me.” 

“There isn’t an investigation for you to open with no complaining witness. Law 101. You know better Benson.” She watched as Olivia squared her shoulders. 

“What happened? Clearly something did or you wouldn’t be here this late at night.” Liv glanced at her phone, ignoring that it was ringing. 

“You should get that.” 

“It’s Fin. He is probably looking for you.” 

“I am not leaving until you drop this.” 

“If there is no case and there is no complaint what is there to drop?” 

“Really?” Rita laughed, “You’re going to use this on me?” 

Liv sighed deeply as the kettle started to sound. She walked around Rita as she headed to her kitchen, “Do you want a cup of tea.” 

“I won’t be here long.” 

“Suit yourself,” She shrugged before pulling a cup of coffee down, “Can I be honest with you for a moment?” She questioned. 

“Now you’re asking?” Rita questioned as she crossed her arms over chest. 

“Clearly, I don’t know what happened. But you helped me during the Lewis trial. You know what happened to me from point a to z. You defended me and I trust you more than most. Rita, I consider you a friend. I fight hard for my friends. Do you understand that? I have been on this beat for a long time and I know when something has happened. What I don’t understand is why you won’t talk.” 

“Since you think you know so much about this situation, as you say. Then tell me what exactly happened.” Rita stated. 

“I think you and your father have bad blood. From what Fin told me, he clearly is a racist. Not only that, he had enough balls to come into my bullpen to pay off Fin to break off your engagement. I think your father is covering something up because of the way he backed off from Fin after he said he knew what he did. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out some sort of abuse occurred and it happened to you.” Liv turned to face her, leaning against her counter as she blew on her tea. 

Rita looked away as she adjusted her arms. She swallowed hard, “Listen. Statute of limitations is up. We are through here and there is nothing for you to look into. Do you understand? You’re going to drop it.” Rita looked at her firmly. 

“Maybe for you. But what if something happened to someone else and that isn’t up for them?” 

“Nothing ever happened to another person.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“Because I know!” She snapped. Rita closed her eyes, rubbing her temple.

“Rita,” She murmured, walking over to her, holding her shoulders, “Talk to me. Clearly this is getting closer to breaking you. How long have you held onto this secret? Rita, what happened?” 

Rita swallowed before looking up at her, “Things have already gotten messed up. You two interfering has already cost me more than I ever wanted. I should have never told Fin the truth in the first place.” 

“Rita, please.” 

“Benson,” She breathed, pulling herself to her full height, “This is going to be my last time saying this, there is no formal investigation needed because nothing happened. Do not make me file a formal complaint.” 

Olivia dropped her hands, staring at her, “Really?” 

“My life was fine before. I simply should have never told my parents I was engaged.” 

Olivia chortled, “So are you telling me that you regret your engagement to Tutuola?” 

“No!” She watched as Olivia walked to her door. 

“I think you should go, and I think we should talk when you are ready.” Olivia lowered her eyes as Rita left. She knew Rita was hurting and knew she had to wait in order to help someone who wasn’t ready for help. 

* * *

Rita sat on the ledge in front of the big bay window. Her coffee was cooling in her hands as she stared at the people passing by. The sound of rain calmed her, but with everything that happened, her mind wouldn’t calm down. She took a deep, shaky breath. 

“Hey, I am heading out.” Fin stood in front of her, as she stared out the window. 

“Have a good day. Stay safe,” She murmured without looking at him. 

“Is this what we are reduced to?” He questioned. 

“Fin,” She closed her eyes, “Please just give me time,” She whispered. 

“I- Okay. I love you.” Fin murmured before leaving. 

Rita wiped at her eyes. She was exhausted and she knew what she had to do. She hated that Olivia was right. She closed her eyes as she heard the front door close. She had texted her sister, asking her to come over. She didn’t want to do this with Fin around. She wanted to tell Corey the truth before she found out from someone else. 

Rita stood slowly as she headed towards the door, “Coming,” She called out. She took a deep breath, trying to figure out how she was even going to start this conversation with Corey. It was definitely going to be the most difficult discussion of her life. 

“Hey, I am sorry that I-“ Rita stumbled back, eyes watering as she fell backwards against the wall, as the door hit her hard, “What the-“

“Shut up bitch!” A voice hissed, “I was told to send you a message. Keep your fucking mouth shut!” He snapped before punching her in the lungs. 

“Stop,” She wheezed. 

“Shut up!” He snapped as he pinned her against the wall. He kicked the door shut as Rita started to cry. 

“Please, don’t!” She cried as she felt his hand go up her shirt, “Not again,” She threw her head back, hoping to make contact with something. 

Rita heard a groan as she felt the pressure that was on her body disappear. She stumbled into the living room as she headed into the living room. She needed to get to her cellphone. 

“Get back here you bitch!” He screamed after her. 

Rita glanced over her shoulder, tripping up the stairs as she knew she was closer to safety. She screamed as she felt his hand wrap around her ankle, “Get off of me!” She screamed, “HELP!” Rita kicked desperately, praying silently to hurt him. 

“You’re not going anywhere.” He huffed as he pulled her down the stairs, “Not until I am done!” He snapped as he flipped her over. He wrapped his hand around her throat, squeezing tightly.

“Get off!” Rita scratched at his hand, as he pressed his weight between her legs. 

“Oh I will be,” He smirked. 

***

Rita curled into herself as she heard him leave. She stared at the wall, wanting to die. She got the message. Loud and clear. She swallowed hard, knowing what it was that she had to do. 

She slowly crawled up her stairs, heading towards her office. The last thing she wanted was for Corey to find her this way. She grabbed her cellphone before slowly making her way back downstairs. 

She sent a text to Corey, saying that she had a work emergency and would catch up with her later. Keeping her eyes on the floor, Rita pulled a trench coat over her ripped clothes. She caught a cab, riding silently as she headed towards SVU. 

The tears ran down her face silently. Everything hurt, but she didn’t touch anything on her. She knew what was going to happen. She knew things were either going to get even worse or they were going to be okay. She had to hope for the latter. 

“Rita!?” Rollins set her coffee down, as she walked towards her, “What happened!?” 

“Get Olivia,” She mumbled. 

“Uh okay. Here, take a seat. Can you tell me what happened?” She questioned, leading her to an interview room. 

“I want to talk to Olivia.” 

Amanda walked into her office, not bothering to knock, “Hey, uh captain? You’re gonna want to come to interview room one. Maybe, give Tutuola a call.” 

“Excuse me,” She glanced at Dodds. Olivia set her glasses atop her desk. Olivia followed Amanda as she looked in the room, “What the hell happened?” 

“I asked and she asked for you. Her clothes are ripped and she had bruising on her face.” 

“Notify Fin that Rita is here. I am going to figure out what happened.” Olivia stated before walking in. She silently sat across from her, “Hey.” 

Rita swallowed, “I was raped,” She said before she looked up, “Now you have something to investigate.” 

“Can you tell me what happened?” 

“I went to answer my door, thinking it was my sister, and-and it wasn’t. Instead, it was a message being sent to me. More than likely from my father.” 

Olivia took a deep breath, “A message for what?” 

“To not say anything,” Rita blinked, glancing at her. 

“Is this what we had a conversation about?” 

“Well, this isn’t the first time I was raped.” Rita said as she finally looked her in the eye. 


	7. Pictures & Promises

Rita stared at the ceiling. She had lost track of time for how long she had been in the hospital at this point. She had listened to different commands. _Hold out your hands. Open your mouth for the swab please. Turn your head to the right, please._ She tried not to flinch every time the sound of the shutter filled the room. 

She winced as they finished the final swabs inside of her. Rita pushed herself up slowly as she looked at the doctor.

“Here is a change of clothes so you can get out of the gown. When you come back, we will have the after pill, as well as all of the other medications to prevent STI’s. We will also notify you in three to five days in case any of those tests come back positive. Do you have any questions?” 

Rita shook her head as she stared at her hands folded in her lap. She waited until the doctor left as she stood, slowly making her way into the bathroom. She dropped the gown onto the floor before staring at herself in the mirror. 

Bite marks were on her shoulders, with bruising on her neck. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling his hands and mouth on her skin all over again. She took a deep breath, before opening her eyes again. Rita stared at her swollen nose. She scoffed at the fact that she had been told she was lucky that it wasn’t broken. _Lucky_? This is lucky? 

Rita pulled the grey shirt over her head, followed by the black scrubs. She slowly zipped the hoodie up before making her way back into the main room. She walked back into the room, sitting on top of the bed. Her feet felt so cold. 

She tried to hear what the doctor was saying, but she couldn’t focus anymore. She took the paper cup, washing the medicine down with the lukewarm water before pulling her legs up to her chest. 

She looked at Olivia as she walked in after a brief knock, “Hey Doctor Lynn. Is the examination over?” 

“Yes. A word outside?” 

Olivia glanced at Rita before nodding. She shut the door behind herself and the doctor, “You have a good victim. Whoever attacked her, she got a lot of DNA from them. There were a couple small chunks of skin underneath her fingernails. Once she signs off, you guys will be able to hopefully catch this guy fast.” 

Olivia took a deep breath, “Hopefully,” She nodded, “Her fiancé is in the waiting room. Can you have someone notify him that her exam is done?” 

“Course,” She smiled before walking away. 

Rita didn’t move as she heard the door open again. The last thing she wanted was more prodding. She had already told the story so many times. Written it down, everything. She took a deep breath as she heard the chair being dragged over. 

“Hey. How are you?” 

“Fabulous. Don’t you know? My entire naked body is now a crime scene.” Rita wiped at her eyes. She had managed not to cry during everything else, but was breaking down now. 

“I know this is hard Rita, but I am going to ask that you don’t discuss this with Fin for right now.” 

Rita glanced at her before nodding, “Don’t worry, this isn’t a topic I really want to talk about right now.” 

“Your home is still being processed and we will likely need to do it for a few more days...there is a lot of uhm, evidence. NYPD will put you up in a hotel.” 

“Don’t worry about it, I will check myself and Fin into a hotel. He is going to have to take a leave until the investigation is over. Isn’t he?” 

“Yes. Your case does fall under our jurisdiction. The last thing I want is to end up not being able to take this to trial.” 

“Okay,” Rita mumbled as a knock on the door sounded. 

“He is here. Would you like me to send him in?” 

“Please,” She nodded. 

Rita pushed herself into an upright position as she glanced at the door waiting for him to come in. She wished she had never gotten angry with him for sticking up for her. 

Rita collapsed into his arms, as she finally broke down crying. She heard Olivia say that she was right outside if they needed anything, “Odafin, I am so, so sorry! My anger towards you isn’t fair. I love you and I should have never been angry with you.” 

“Shhh,” He said softly, moving into the bed with her. He was shocked she was letting him touch her, all things considered. 

“You were just protecting me and I became angry with you!” She wept. 

“You were looking out for yourself in a difficult position. I know this isn’t your fault. Do you hear me babe? I know you never meant for any of this. I love you. I’m happy you are still with me.” Fin pressed a soft kiss into her hair as he felt her press into him harder. 

Rita wept until she felt like she was out of tears. She was exhausted. She pulled back, wiping at her eyes, I want to leave the hospital. ”I don’t want to be here anymore,” 

Fin nodded, “I understand babe. Let me go talk to Liv and let’s get you out of here.” 

Rita nodded, “Okay,” She mumbled. 

* * *

_Rita ran through the tunnel, looking around desperately. Everything was so dark as she felt her way along the wall. She didn’t know how to get out of here. She felt her breathing speed up as she heard more steps behind her. She screamed as wood splintered in front of her. She didn’t know where she was or how to get out._

_She screamed as hands grabbed at her, “Get off of me!” She flinched. Rita cried out as her face got rubbed in dirt. She coughed between her tears, not knowing which way was up._

_“Stop please!” She cried._

“Rita, wake up!” 

Rita flinched awake, feeling the cold sweat on her body. Her chest was heaving as she looked around at the foreign surroundings. She covered her face, feeling a fresh round of tears spill over her eyes. Rita felt so, so weak. 

“Rita, baby, we are safe. Would you like me to hold you?” 

Rita leaned into Fin, tucking her face into his neck, draping her arms around him. She knew that it was a bad dream. She knew why this had happened, “I am so sorry,” She whispered. 

“Sorry for what? I know that you went through an ordeal. This isn’t your fault.” He said softly. 

Rita pulled back, pulling his hoodie tighter around her, “When I got to the hospital, they said my phone was at home. Do you know what happened to it? I want to talk to Corey.” 

“Let me call Liv. I don’t know if it’s evidence or not.” Fin said softly. 

“Okay,” She whispered. 

Fin glanced at her, sliding out of bed, as he called Olivia. 

“Fin. What’s up?” 

“Hey Liv. I need a favor. Can you tell me whether or not Rita’s phone is evidence? She wants to talk to her sister.” 

“Fin...the perp? He broke the phone. She might be able to get files transferred, but it’s evidence. Is there a number she wants off of it?” 

“She just wants to talk to her sister. Can you get me the number?” 

“Yeah, I will have Taru get it and I will text it to you. How is Rita Fin?” 

He rubbed his neck as he looked at Rita lying in the bed, “She is already having nightmares.” 

“Do you need me to bring anything?” 

“No. Hey, do you still have the name of the doctor that helped you?” 

Liv raked her feelings through her hair, nodding, “Yeah, I-I will send it over.” 

“Thank you. Liv?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Thank you for your support.” 

“No problem,” She said softly. 

Fin walked back, sliding into bed, “Hey, I can’t get your phone, but Olivia is going to get the number for you.” 

“I know her number. Can I borrow your phone?” 

Fin handed it over, watching as she slid out of bed. The phone rang a few times before she heard her sister’s voice, “Rita!? Are you okay!? I went to your house and it was a crime scene and I tried to get information, but no one was answering. Rita I-I thought you were dead!” 

“Corey,” She said gently, tears slipping down her cheeks, “Corey it’s okay. I am okay.” Rita sniffed as she hugged herself with one arm. 

“Rita what happened?” 

“It-it was...Corey, it’s going to come out. My home, it was broken into and-and I was raped.” Rita covered her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut as more tears spilled over. 

“Rita where are you?” 

Rita swallowed down the knot in her throat as she stared at the dart board on Fin’s wall, “I am with Odafin.” 

“I am coming over. Do you have clothes?” 

“Corey no. I-“

“Rita stop,” Corey stated firmly, “All my life you have been protecting and helping me. Please, for once, stop acting like a hard ass and just let me help you.” 

“I-okay,” Rita conceded. 

“I will be over soon,” She promised, “I love you Rita,” She murmured. 

“Love you,” She smiled before hanging up. She texted Corey the address before walking back, “Corey is coming over.” 

“Understandable,” He said softly. 

“She said that all she saw when she arrived was a crime scene and a bunch of cops. Why did no one tell her where I was?” 

“Hey,” Fin said gently, “I was never at the scene. I am not sure what happened. I can ask Liv, but I am not sure how much of an answer I will get.” 

Rita closed her eyes, nodding, “Okay, ok. Corrine is on her way over.” 

“Are you sure you want her to see you this way?” 

She took a deep breath, “I already told her I was raped. She is going to expect me to not be okay.” 

“But Corey won’t expect a bruised face.” 

“There is a lot she won’t be expecting. I was actually going to tell her what my father did to me.” She looked down. 

Fin gently took her hand in his, “Rita? Baby, we are going to make it through this. We are going to make it. Okay?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my work! I know it’s been a while since I have posted, but I have been sick. I have only been writing when I have been coherent enough. I am sending all the love and goodwill and health your way!


	8. Wiping Prints

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this has been super angsty, but I promise, in the next chapter, it gets better! Thank you so much for reading my work!

Rita would never admit it, but she was happy that she had listened to Fin and talked Corey into coming in the morning. She ended up having a couple drinks with Fin before she fell into a pitch black sleep. She tried to get comfortable as she listened to her sister. 

Rita looked at Corrine as she sat on the couch with her, now holding the cold cup of tea. She wiped at her eyes as she looked at her, “I couldn’t call you because whoever it was that did this? He broke my phone. I don’t even know if I will be able to get any of the files or phone numbers that I need for work.” 

Corey scoffed, gently taking her sister’s hand, “You’re hurt and you are worried about work!?” 

“It’s my firm.” 

“That has partners that can run it like you,” She said softly. 

Rita took a deep breath, looking away, “Corey there is something else that I have to tell you. The only reason why I am telling you is because there will be a trial and this is going to come out. I want you to be prepared for it. “ she looked back at her sister. 

“Rita,” Corey squeezed her hand, “Listen, whatever it is this won’t change the way I think of you. What happened to you isn’t your fault. Whatever it is you’re about to tell me? I will love you no matter what.” 

“You say that now,” She mumbled before looking up at her sister. 

“Corrine, this isn’t the first time I was...was raped,” Rita took a moment to take a deep breath, “When I was thirteen...Father...he-he decided I was a woman. Corrine, he raped me and I blackmailed him so he would never touch you. I-“

“Stop,” Corey whispered as she looked away, “Stop it.” 

“Corey,” Rita whispered as she covered her sister’s hand with her own. 

“Do you realize what you are saying Rita!? This is going to kill Mom.” 

Rita pulled away feeling as though she had been slapped, “Corey...you don’t believe me?” The question came out barely above a whisper. 

“I don’t know what to believe Rita! I come to your home, and see a crime scene. I thought you had been killed. Worse! You were raped! Then you tell me, over twenty years later? That  _ our  _ Dad raped you!?  _ How would you feel? _ DON’T-Don’t touch me.” 

Rita sank back into the couch as she looked at her sister, “I think you should go.” She whispered. 

Corrine nodded, wiping at her tears, “I know Daddy. I know you. I just don’t know what to think.” 

“I understand,” She murmured before finally looking up at her, “You need time to process and I understand. I want you to know...I love you. Okay?” 

Corrine nodded, “Yeah...yep.” She murmured. 

Rita closed her eyes as she pulled a knee up to her chest, watching her go. She cursed at the fact that she was crying. Again. She took a deep breath, before turning on the television as the door closed. Rita stared at the television but didn’t even know what was on. 

* * *

_ Five Days Later  _

Rita stood in front of her brownstone, staring at the door. Her keys dangled from her fingers, as she focused on breathing. She took a deep breath before she walked up the stairs. She locked the door behind her, staring at all the black finger prints on her white walls. She swallowed thickly as she looked at the overturned stools. 

She walked further into her home, picking up the stools before she swallowed thickly. She looked at her dried blood on the rug, rubbing at her eyes. She took a deep, shaky breath before looking at her stairs. 

_ Rita screamed as he ripped open her shirt, keeping her hands pinned above her head. She twisted her body, trying to throw him off. _

_ “Shut your mouth you fucking bitch!” He hissed. He punched her in the ribcage, smirking at the way she gasped for breath.  _

_ “Please! Don’t!” Rita wheezed.  _

Rita turned away, covering her mouth before she finally felt like she could move. She walked into her kitchen, grabbing a bucket before making some cleaner. She put on her gloves before she finally started to wash away everything. 

Rita jumped at the knock on her door. She took her gloves off, hanging them over the side of the bucket. Rita walked to the door, checking the peep hole, before finally pulling the door open, “Mom?” 

“Can I come in?” 

“It’s a mess in here...I-I don’t want you to see it.” 

“Rita, I didn’t come here to see your home. I came to see if my daughter was okay.” 

Rita took a deep breath, nodding before she stepped back, allowing her in. She closed and locked the door behind her Mom, “I am okay.” 

Jane gently took her daughter’s chin into her hand before looking her in the eye, “You were raped.” 

Rita swallowed, pushing her hand away from her face, “I-I...yeah.” She whispered, “How did you find out?” 

Jane looked down, staring at her feet, “I am so sorry.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know what else to say,” She murmured, “Corey told me. Don’t be upset with her, please.” 

Rita crossed her arms over her chest as her entire body filled with fear, “It’s a part of the job I guess.” 

“This happened because of your job!?” 

“No...I don’t know why this happened. They haven’t caught him, but I fought. Okay? I fought hard.” 

Jane stepped closer to her daughter, “Rita, you are the definition of a fighter. I am being honest with you as I say this, you  _ never  _ needed me. Once you formulated your strength and will, you didn’t need me. I knew that from the time you were ten. I always knew you needed love and I will always have love for you.” 

Rita tilted her head, looking at her, “I needed you. I still need you. I feel horrible about your birthday dinner and everything in between. But, I love you mom and I will always need you.” 

Jane wiped at her eyes, pulling her daughter into her arms, “I am so, so happy that you made it. I wish, more than anything, that I could take all the pain away from you.” 

Rita wrapped her arms around her, “Thank you,” She whispered. 

“You’re welcome buttercup and I love you too. Would you like some help with all of this?” Jane smoothed her daughter’s hair, pressing a kiss onto her forehead. 

“Please,” She whispered, giving her mom a watery smile. 

“Come on buttercup,” She said softly, walking over to the bucket with her. 

Rita turned on some music, cleaning alongside her mom. She enjoyed the comfortable silence. She enjoyed the way they worked together. Rita looked at her mom, after a couple of hours, “Hungry?” 

“Yes. What are you hungry for?” 

“I had to throw out everything in the fridge. Is delivery ok?” 

“I will go to the bistro down the street. What would you like?” Jane asked gently. 

“Surprise me.” Rita smiled. 

Jane nodded. She gently cupped Rita’s cheek, “I am so sorry this happened to you buttercup.” 

Rita smiled, “Thank you,” She murmured. Rita walked back to all of the cleaning supplies, dumping the dirty water down the drain, rinsing the bucket. 

Rita pulled the lone bottle of wine she had out of the fridge and pulled down two glasses. She poured herself a glass of Sauvignon Blanc before she leaned against the counter. She pulled her phone from her back pocket, grateful that Liv put a rush on her phone. 

“Hello Sergeant.” 

“Hey baby. I was just checking in on you. Making sure that you’re okay. I know you didn’t want me to help. But are you hungry? I can take a long lunch.” 

“Odafin-My mom is here. I am okay.” Rita answered gently, twisting her wine glass between her thumb and pointer finger. 

“Jane? I thought she wouldn’t show.” 

“Corey talked to her. I don’t know what she said...but uhm I do know Corey told Mom that it happened.” 

Fin took a deep breath, “Okay, how are you feeling?” 

Rita closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before saying, “Tired. Sore..” 

“Flashbacks?” 

Rita swallowed hard. She hated that he knew. She hated that he could predict her emotions before she had a chance to vocalize them. She took a deep breath.

“Rita?” 

“Yes-Uhm yes...Flashbacks,” She whispered as she looked down at her feet. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come?” 

“Positive,” Rita murmured. She looked up at the knock of the door, “I have to go. My mom is back.” 

“Okay. I love you.” 

“Love you too,” Rita walked to her front door, letting her mom in before pulling down the needed utensils. 

“Thank you for lunch Mom,” She smiled. 

“Anything for you buttercup.” She set out the food as making herself a plate, watching Rita pour the wine. 

Rita sat down biting her lip, “Mom? How much did Corey tell you?” She watched the way her Mom hesitated. 

Jane set her glass down, looking at her daughter, “Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered. 

Rita looked down, staring at her nearly full plate, “I did what I had to do so I could protect Corey.” 

“Rita. Look at me.” 

Rita took a deep breath, looking up, “Yes?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I couldn’t!” 

“That is a line of crap and you know it!” 

“I didn’t think you could handle it.” 

“Rita. I am your mother. Of course I would have been able to handle it!” 

Rita looked up at her, “Would you have still stayed with him?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Would you have still stayed with him?” Rita felt herself losing her appetite once again. She knew this would change her relationship with her mom. She knew this was going to change everything. 

Jane looked at her daughter before looking down at her own plate. She silently nodded before pushing her plate away. 

Rita felt herself going into work mode as she stood, “I think you should go.” 

“Rita, please!” 

“He disowned me mom. He disowned me a week before I was raped. You tell me thAT YOU WOULD BELIEVE ME BUT YOU WOULD STILL STAY WITH HIM!” She snapped. 

“What?” She whispered. 

“He disowned me. He doesn’t want me to have any contact with you or Corey or Lizbeth or Daniel! He wants me to be isolated.” 

“I didn’t know that,” Jane stood, looking at her daughter, “I didn’t know any of this.” 

Rita took a deep breath, “No, you didn’t know that because he wants you to think he is a good person. He wants you to be in his back pocket. Go. Leave. Now.” Rita watched as her mom nodded. 

“I love you buttercup. I know you might not believe me, but I mean it.” 

Rita stepped away from her touch, as she looked down. Rita closed her eyes as the front door closed. She grabbed the plates, throwing them in the sink before throwing the wine glasses as well. She felt validated as she listened to the glass break. 

* * *

Fin shut the front door behind him quietly. He checked the lock before flicking on the lights after toeing off his shoes. He walked towards the kitchen, sniffing the air, before he noticed all the broken glass. 

Fin felt his heart jump before he turned, moving up the stairs as he opened the bedroom. He stared at Rita, asleep in the bed, still fully clothed. He walked towards her, gently shaking her shoulder. 

“Rita, baby.” He gently woke her up, “Come on babe. Let’s get you changed.” 

Fin gently took her socks off before sitting her up, helping her into the bathroom. He sat her on the edge of the tub before looking into her tired eyes, “Do you want help getting changed?” 

“Please,” Rita whispered. 

Fin nodded, helping her strip down to her undergarments before grabbing her lotion. He avoided the bruises as much as possible before handing her the toothbrush. 

Fin left her there before grabbing her favorite pair of pajamas before walking back in the bathroom. He helped her get dressed, before leading her back to the bedroom. 

He tucked her in before changing and getting ready himself. He walked downstairs, throwing out the food that was on the table. He cleaned up the glass, washing off the dried wine from the floor. 

Fin leaned against the counter, wondering what even happened. He took a deep breath, hoping that his girl finally caught a break, but knew that wasn’t the case. He walked back upstairs, finding Rita sitting up in bed. 

“Baby. What are you doin’ up?” Fin say on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on her knee. 

“Corey told my mom-everything. I didn’t get the chance to tell her. Today-today I asked her if she would have stayed by his side. She told me yes. Odafin, I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I kicked my own mother out of our home!” Rita looked up from her hands, her eyes glassy but not spilling over, “I can’t do this.” 

“Woah, babe. Can’t do what? Speak your truth? It’s going to get harder before it gets easier. I have seen this a thousand times. You have known this secret for how many years? They are just finding out everything for the first time. Give them time and have faith they come around.” 

“Give them time,” Rita scoffed. 

“Hey, can I hold you?” 

“Stop asking every single time!” She snapped. 

Fin looked at her before standing, gently taking her shoulders in his hands, “I love you. That hasn’t changed. Do you understand that? I know you are going through a lot, but you do not have to be a hardass with me. Got it? Take a deep breath. I am here for you.” 

Rita looked at, believing every word he said. Rita leaned forward, touching her forehead to his, “I believe you,” She murmured. 

Fin held her, feeling her shake against him. He rubbed her back as she cried. Fin didn’t know how long he held her until she finally fell asleep. He pulled the blanket around them, pressing a kiss into her hair as she finally slept in his arms.


	9. Processing Pain

_Three Months Later_

Rita sat in her office, staring at the paper. She knew she needed to get this paper work done, but she didn’t feel it within herself to do the work. Instead, she found that she couldn’t even write a full sentence. 

Rita tapped her pen against her desk before finally placing it atop her file. She dropped her head into her palms. She felt her skin crawl with the way her coworkers looked at her. She wanted to punch every single one of them. The last thing she wanted was their sympathy. She knew she was going to have to claw her way back to her reputation. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to do it. 

She glanced at her phone as it vibrated across her desk, “Calhoun.” 

“Rita, hey. It’s Olivia.” 

Rita leaned back in her chair, staring at her book case, “Olivia. How can I help you?” 

“I have some really good news for you Rita. We have a break in your case.” 

“What?” Rita whispered. 

“The DNA that you got? We finally got a match. I know this is asking a lot, but how would you feel about doing a voice match? I know it’s your first day back at work, but would you be willing to come in?” 

“I can be there in an hour.” 

“Thank you Rita,” Olivia said softly. 

Rita stood, walking to her door, only to lock it. The stress of all of this was worse than her job. It had taken two months for her body to heal. An extra month to not have daily panic attacks, but she felt another one coming. 

Rita sat on the floor, crossing her legs, as she ran her fingers over the pendant of the necklace that Odafin had given her. She felt her lungs clenching as she struggled to breathe. Rita squeezed her eyes tighter as she begged for air to fill her lungs. 

***

Rita walked into the familiar precinct, “Carisi, Rollins,” She nodded curtly. She gave a small smile to Odafin. She squeezed his shoulder before looking up at Olivia. 

“Rita, come with me,” She said softly. 

Rita nodded, following Olivia into her office. Rita took a deep breath, looking at Olivia, “Okay, so I have a tape recording with him saying the things that you recalled.” 

Rita took a deep breath, interlocking her fingers to keep her hands from shaking, “Okay.” 

“Do you want some water?” 

Rita took a deep breath, shaking her head, “No. Let’s just get this done and over.” 

“Okay,” Olivia breathed before she typed in the password into her iPad. Olivia looked at her face, feeling the dread in her stomach before she hit play. 

“Shut your mouth you fucking bitch!” 

Rita flinched violently, looking away as she nodded, “Tha-That’s him.” 

“Are you sure?” Olivia asked gently. 

She looked up at her, strongly, “I will never forget that voice.” Rita tilted her chin up slightly, “I want to see his face.” 

“Rita I-“ 

“I know you wouldn’t recommend it. Legally? Me seeing his face won’t affect my testimony in court. I just IDed him by his voice and you have DNA. Don’t argue this with me.” 

Olivia cocked an eyebrow with a hint of a smirk, “I understand now why Fin says there is no point in arguing with you.” 

Rita gave a tight smile before she stood, following Olivia to the window. She felt as though she had been punched in the lungs once the blinds were pulled, “Ar-Are you kidding me!?” She whispered. 

“Rita?” Olivia question. 

Before Olivia even had a chance, Rita was bursting through the interview door, “You son of a bitch! _You_ raped me!” Rita snapped. Rita stared at his smug face. 

“Long time no see,” Rowan Caldwell smirked. 

“ _YOU RAPED ME!”_ She screamed. 

“I enjoyed every minute of it.” He smirked as he raked his eyes down her body, “You were tasty.” He smirked, “I told you I don’t take no as an answer. Hypothetically.” 

Before Rita could even lunge, she felt herself getting yanked backwards, “GET OFF OF ME!” She screamed as she struggled against the hands that held her. 

“Rita, calm down. Come on,” Olivia firmly said as she yanked her backwards. 

Rita breathed heavily as the door shut behind them. She pulled herself out of Olivia’s grasp. She straightened her blazer, staring at Rowan. She felt her entire body shake as she turned towards Olivia. 

“Rita, I have more questions.” 

“I know you do, but I can’t do this!” She walked around Rita pausing at the door as she saw everyone standing in the precinct, staring at her. She lowered her head, ignoring Fin as she walked out. 

Fin grabbed his jacket, pulling it on as he headed after his fiancé, “Tutuola!” Liv called, stopping him in his tracks, “My office, now.” 

Fin scowled, shutting the door behind him as she looked at him, “Who is Rowan Caldwell?” 

“That’s the name of the asshole who raped her!?” He questioned tightly, his jaw twitching. 

“Yes,” She nodded solemnly, “How does Rita know him?” 

“A family friend. He asked her out, and she said no. That was early on in our relationship.” He answered, “Please let me go check on Rita.” 

She poked her head out, “Rollins, go check on Rita.” Olivia closed the door, “Did he ever show signs of aggression?” Olivia turned back to face Fin. 

Fin ran his hand over his face, “No! Never. This is a blindside. Okay?” 

“Fin, I need you to calm down,” Olivia stated, “Look, I need you to think. This is why I pulled you off the case in the first place. We caught the guy who raped Rita. Now, I need you to think. Has Rowan ever been over to Rita’s house?” 

“No.” He looked up at Liv. 

“Then how did he get her address? Did you ever notice anyone following the both of you?” 

“You need to ask him these questions. Liv, I can’t read his fucking mind!” 

They both fell silent as Barba came in, “I don’t want this going to trial.” 

“Barba, not now.” Olivia said firmly. 

“I am not backing down right now. I am not allowing this to go to trial. I am also recusing myself.” 

“What?” Fin and Olivia said at the same time as they turned to look at him. 

“No one will fight harder for her than me, but my past with Rita could potentially cause a mistrial. Do you understand that?” 

“What past?” Fin questioned. 

“Fin, I went to college and worked with her.” Barba shot back. 

Fin nodded, “Okay. Then who is going to prosecute?” 

“Alex Cabot. I called in a favor...or six.” 

* * *

Rita sat atop the bed, after notifying her firm that she wouldn’t be returning for the day. She bit into the meaty part of her palm as the tears slid down her face. She closed her eyes as her body trembled. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t testify. She felt like she was being violated all over again. 

Rita hugged her knees to her chest as she rocked back and forth. She couldn’t stop crying. Rita remembered when he had asked her out. She said no, and he respected that, but he didn’t acknowledge her screaming no. 

Rita stood, suddenly, stripping as she headed towards the bathroom. She turned the water on to scalding as she started to scrub her skin. She didn’t care how much it hurt from how hard she was scrubbing. She needed to feel clean.

**********

Fin unlocked the door, walking into the brownstone. He walked upstairs, knowing Rita would be in the bedroom. He saw her sitting against the headboard, her hair still wet. He noticed that everything she usually did after her shower, wasn’t done. He saw the dead look in her eye as he stepped closer. 

“I can’t do this,” She whispered as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Why?” 

“Rowan Caldwell? I knew him.” Rita’s voice shook, “I told you about him when he asked me out and I said no. We laughed that night. We made love that night. We were so happy that night. We were in sync that night.” She whispered. 

“Rita, you can ask all the questions you want, but some of em will never be answered. You can’t do that to yourself.” Fin pulled her into his arms, “You fought. You screamed. Rollins told me how you complained of the sore throat. You screamed so loudly that your throat was swollen. Not only that, but you scratched him. You fought hard. I am so, so proud of you for fighting for yourself.” 

Rita pulled back, looking at him, “Make love to me,” She whispered. 

“Baby, are you sure?” 

“He is trying to ruin my life. I am isolated from my family. Corey barely responds to my text messages. I can’t even look at my mother. Odafin,” Rita paused cupping his cheek, “I have you. I love you. You stood by my side this entire time. You haven’t doubted me, you have been gentle with me and I know you have been frustrated with the whole situation and me sometimes.”,

“Rita, I understand how things can be. I don’t want you to feel forced. I love you too. I am not going anywhere. I meant it when I said I want to marry you for better or worse. Okay?” 

Rita leaned forward, kissing him slowly. She felt his arms wrap tightly around him, as he pulled her closer. Rita leaned into his touch, her mouth becoming pliable to his as she felt his tongue explore her mouth. She groaned as he pulled her into his lap. 

Fin gently pulled her closer, kissing along her jaw. He smoothed her hair away from her face, “Are you sure baby?” 

“Yes,” Rita murmured, running her thumb along his lower lip. 

Fin smiled, holding her hand, kissing into her palm gently. He gently pushed her back into the mattress, laying in between her legs as he nuzzled her neck, “I love you.” He placed gentle kisses between each word before he found her mouth again. 

Rita sighed softly, “I love you so much.” She whispered. Rita’s hand traveled down his back, pulling his shirt out of his pants before her fingers started to work the buttons. 

Fin hooked her leg over his hip as he felt her moving beneath him. He slowly broke the kiss, looking at her. His eyes were filled with love as he looked at her, “You are the best thing to have ever happened to me.” 

“Oh Fin,” Rita murmured, tears welling in her eyes. 

* * *

Rita woke up slowly, her limbs entangled with Fin’s. Rita listened to his steady heart beat as she thought about last night. She felt the corner of her mouth twitch upwards. Last night, she felt like her and Fin had found themselves again. That was the first time, in over three months, that they really touched, talked, and cried together. Rita felt more like herself by reconnecting with Fin. 

She curled into Fin even more, feeling her body relax into his. She felt her breathing calming as she felt his arm tighten around her. 

“I don’t want to move,” She whispered. 

“Then we won’t,” Fin replied in a gravelly voice. 

Rita swallowed as she started to move her thumb over his sprinkle of chest hair, “I feel like we are in sync again.” 

“It just took some time,” He murmured. 

“Too much time.” 

“The right amount of time,” Fin shot back as he spun her hair around his finger. 

“I don’t know what overcame me yesterday.” 

“What do you mean? We all heard you shouting but what happened?” 

“Olivia didn’t tell you?” She propped herself up on her elbow, holding the comforter to her chest. 

“No.” 

“She stopped me before I lunged at him. I don’t know how she knew, but she stopped me before I could smack him.” 

Fin swept her hair out of her face, smiling, “Olivia can read people. She knows when they are hurting and she stops them before they make a mistake they regret,” 

Rita nodded, “An amazing woman. It felt so carnal. Like, if I didn’t hurt him, he was going to hurt me. I am not like that. I don’t resort to violence. I have only hit someone when they attacked me. Rita leaned back down, curling into him as she took a deep breath, “Do you want to know the thing I hate about this the most? I am so sick of crying,” She laughed solemnly. 

Fin absorbed her words, inhaling deeply, “It was carnal because it was your deepest reaction. That’s why it shocked you, but not Liv. She knew that was coming. Are you hungry?” 

“A little but I am okay for now. Can we just cuddle?” 

“We can do whatever you want baby.” 

Rita softly kissed his chest, “I appreciate you standing by me and being so patient and letting me come back to you on my time.” 

Fin smiled at her softly, kissing the freckles on her shoulder, “Also, you should know this, Barba recused himself from the trial.” 

“I knew that was coming.” 

“How?” 

“I have known him since I was nineteen. Makes sense because it could cause a mistrial. Who is taking the case?” 

“Alex Cabot.” 

“Now that is shocking,” Rita chuckled. 

“Mm, how so?” 

“She was the last person I worked on a case with before I switched sides.” 

Fin cocked an eyebrow squeezing her hip, “Now that is interesting.” 

“Story for another time. How about we take a shower and go for a walk?” 

“Sounds good,” Fin kissed her fingers before slipping out of bed. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea that popped in my head. I don’t know when the next update will be, but there will be lots of angst and tooth rotting fluff!


End file.
